it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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