Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
