I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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