btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
