I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we made out on top of his cat.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
