Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
