I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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