Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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