...so i touched it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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