Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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