Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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