If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
