Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
