I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize