the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
NoShamevember. You game?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
