still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My life is pants optional.
Randomize