found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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