i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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