i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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