Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.