i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.