my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.