my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling