Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
