Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
