lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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