My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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