If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
