She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
