yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
