stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
