Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
