whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
