Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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