you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
