It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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