Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
