Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
