she was so not down for the gang bang
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
