just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
