We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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