okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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