We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
