have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
