what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
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you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All the doctor said was why
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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