I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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