And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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