From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
