we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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