This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize