So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
third nipple confirmed
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
