I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
