Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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