i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
