I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
