Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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