i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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