I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize