He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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