kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Help me help you realize you are a moron
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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