I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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