i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize