I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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