you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All the doctor said was why
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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