I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
