So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
