What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
false alarm. still invincible.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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