is wine microwaveable?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
