hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize