how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
